Garden lessons

 I have been gardening harder than usual this year, due to (gestures at entire world) stressing me out and finding gardening soothing. While I am not exactly a skilled gardener, I've been at it since I was a teenager, so I have finally killed enough plants that I can (usually) keep them alive. Still, this year has had some unexpected lessons:

I am now she who walks behind the rows.

1. Squash bugs have a very distinct smell when you squish them. This is probably why so few birds eat them. They are also full of powder blue goop which I would not want to eat either so, fair enough birds.
2. If you find frass (caterpillar poop) but no caterpillars, this does not always mean that something ate the little bastards. It often does though.
3. Black swallowtail caterpillars like carrots.
4. DUCKS WILL DESTROY EVERYTHING. They also eat slugs.
5. It is INCREDIBLY satisfying to squish a clutch of bean beetle eggs. Dear squash bugs: please take notes. Your eggs suck.
6. If you do three sisters beds, put the squash on the OUTSIDE. Whoever came up with putting the squash on the inside has someone else reaching through a jungle of corn and beans to get to the squash for them.
7. Ducks will not eat squash bugs.
8. Bean vines are grippy - like velcro. This makes it very uncomfortable to take one across the face.
9. Pole beans are more than capable of pulling down corn stalks. And bamboo poles. And step in fence posts.
10. Chickens will not eat squash bugs.
11. The squash is all dead, but the pumpkins, which are also technically squash, are doing great. ???

The cabbage did pretty good though. Ignore the caterpillar holes.

In conclusion, I want to know what the hell squash bugs eat when they can't get squash, and how they magically appear any time a squash plant is present. They are clear evidence for the spontaneous generation of life from inanimate objects.